Posts Tagged ‘Gospels’

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The Maccabee – Jesus Christ Condemns Masturbation

October 4, 2011

‘Is not my word like fire,” declares the LORD, ‘and like a hammer that breaks a rock in pieces?’

– Jeremiah 23:29

This may seem controversial to some, but the proofs that Jesus Christ condemns masturbation in the Gospels is fairly obvious and straight-forward. What probably seems confusing to some is how the innocent Jesus Christ even knew about masturbation.Remember, He was thirty-something carpenter who probably knew about at least some of these things from contact with His fellow workers.

How did Jesus know about throwing pearls, namely ejaculating into the open air? Well, the answer, in short, is that He had older brothers and a strict Jewish mother who taught Him to never masturbate. He probably also witnessed one or more acts of ritual prostitution where one male would have sex with a prostitute while the other males would masturbate, throwing their pearls of white semen all around when ejaculation was achieved. Without further delay, here is the exact understanding:

THE BASIC CLAIM:

Jesus Christ condemns both masturbation and prostitution using allusion and metaphor

THE BASIC METAPHOR:

THE GOSPEL PASSAGE: Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet and turn and tear you to pieces. (Matthew 7:6)

THE INTERPRETATION: Do not have sex with prostitutes and ejaculate into them. Do not masturbate and ejaculate your sperm into the open air. Remain completely chaste or the demonic world will blow you away.

THE BASIC REASONING:

I. GOSPEL VERSE #1: Do not give what is holy to dogs = Do not have sex with prostitutes and ejaculate in their mouths and rectums. It is demonic.

II. GOSPEL VERSE #2: Do not throw pearls before swine = Do not masturbate and ejaculate to XXX (666) pornography. It is demonic.

Now, what follows is a piece-by-piece examination of the exact words of the Gospels, using historical and traditional interpretations and Biblical analysis. As it clearly reveals, Jesus Christ may well have been using multiple meanings in His sayings and parables, but at least one of them is obviously the earthy, but common sense, notion that one should never masturbate, a uniquely Jewish doctrine not shared by the Pagans, who masturbated frequently and openly. Here is the full analysis of the the two Gospel verses:

I. GOSPEL VERSE #1: Do not give what is holy to dogs

EXACT WORDS: What is holy

TRANSLATION: Your male virgin (or non-virgin) manhood and/or sperm

EXACT WORDS: Dogs

TRANSLATION: Ritual Prostitute, possibly young boy

THE BIBLICAL MEANING OF DOGS

OLD TESTAMENT: Thou shalt not bring the hire of a whore, or the price of a dog, into the house of the LORD thy God for any vow: for even both these are abomination unto the LORD thy God. (Deuteronomy 23:18)

INTERPRETATION: The hire of a whore, or the price of a dog – Many public prostitutes dedicated to their gods a part of their impure earnings; and some of these prostitutes were publicly kept in the temple of Venus Melytta, whose gains were applied to the support of her abominable worship. (Commentary on the Bible, by Adam Clarke, 1831)

II. GOSPEL QUOTE #2: Do not throw your pearls before swine

EXACT WORDS: ‘Your pearls’

TRANSLATION: Your white-colored male semen and/or sperm

EXACT WORDS: ‘before swine

TRANSLATION: To ejaculate staring at pornography

THE BIBLICAL MEANING OF SWINE

OLD TESTAMENT: This term ‘Swine’ usually was a code word for wicked, evil non-Jews. or degenerate, unbelieving Gentiles

INTERPRETATION: The actual pigs and swine who earn their fortune in the XXX (666) pornography industry, the demons which sexually prey on those who masturbate.

It is time to ask those fellow American ‘Yankee Doodle’ males, are you men or are you monkeys? Does anyone truly think it is possible to act like monkeys and also think and advance like men forever? I sincerely doubt it, I really do. It’s time to obey Christ in all ways and to stop masturbation throughout society and, in time, the entire world.

May the LORD God bless you in the name of St. Judas Maccabaeus.

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The Christian Talmud and the Jewish Gospels

October 9, 2010

 

Sacred Jewish Book

 

I have been an amateur, Gentile Scholar of the Jewish Talmud for around ten or so years. I do not speak Yiddish, Aramaic, or Hebrew. Even so, and given everything I have learned so far without any Jewish input or instruction, I must conclude that the history of Gentile Christian animosity towards this astounding set of documents should be seen as a superstitious, irrational assault on common sense, let alone Biblical scholarship and practical reason.

In reality, the Talmud is literally 99.999% acceptable to nearly all forms of Christian thought and reflects a sense of ethics and morality that is, in fact, far more strict than any form of Christianity. Those who still object to the .001% of the text which may, or may not, be offensive to Christianity, are lost in La-La land and, God willing, someone will save them from themselves. Anyway, here is ABSOLUTE PROOF of an ancient, very real Judeo-Christian tradition embedded in both the Jewish Talmud and the Christian Gospel of Matthew. For those of you who have ever been mocked or ridiculed by either Jewish or Gentile intellectuals who insist that there has never been a Judeo-Christian tradition, here is your undeniable vindication:

TALMUD: Man has two hands, but he is not to rob with the one and give donations with the other. (Talmud, Midrash Proverbs 11)
GOSPEL: When you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving will be in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you. (Matthew 6:3-4)

TALMUD: Swear not at all, not even to the truth. (Talmud, Tanchum, Vayikra)
GOSPEL: I tell you, Do not swear at all. (Matthew 5:34)

TALMUD: The pure of heart are God’s friends. (Talmud, Genesis Rabba 41)
GOSPEL: Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. (Matthew 5:8)

TALMUD: If you intend to put man to rights, put yourself to rights first. (Talmud, Midrash Psalms 53)
GOSPEL: Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?…You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. (Matthew 7:3-5)

TALMUD: Have no compunction to chastise where chastisement is called for. It will produce not animosity, but eventually love and peace. (Talmud, Genesis Rabba 54)
GOSPEL: Moreover if your brother should trespass against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he will hear you, you have gained your brother. (Matthew 18:16)

TALMUD: God knows our thoughts before they are formed. (Talmud, Genesis Rabba 9)
GOSPEL: Your Father knows what you need before you ask Him. (Matthew 6:8)

TALMUD: The truth of the Torah is a weapon to its possessor. (Talmud, Numbers Rabba 12)
GOSPEL: Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. (Matthew 10:34)

TALMUD: One of the characteristics of the righteous is that their yes is yes, and their no is no. (Talmud, Midrash Ruth 7)
GOSPEL: Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No’ be ‘No’, anything beyond this comes from the evil one. (Matthew 5:37)

TALMUD: Man’s eyes and his heart prompt him to sin. (Talmud, Numbers Rabba 17)
GOSPEL: I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matthew 5:28)

TALMUD: Adultery can be committed with the eyes. (Talmud, Leviticus Rabba 23)
GOSPEL: I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matthew 5:28)

TALMUD: Immediately when a man is born he proceeds into death, when he dies he proceeds into life. (Talmud, Midrash Samuel 23)
GOSPELS: He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it. (Matthew 10:39)

TALMUD: The Guardian Angels are always near God’s throne. (Talmud, Tanchum, Sazrea)
GOSPELS: Take heed that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say unto you that in Heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in Heaven. (Matthew 18:10)

TALMUD: God lends eloquence to the suppliant. (Talmud, Midrash Proverbs 15)
GOSPEL: Do not worry about how or what you are to say, for it will be given you in that hour what you are to say. For it is not you who speak, but it is the Spirit of your Father who speaks in you. (Matthew 10:19-20)

TALMUD: No one can imagine the reward of him who accepts all his sorrows and reverses with religious resignation. (Talmud, Tanchum, Kee Saizai)
GOSPEL: Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven. (Matthew 5:11-12)

TALMUD: What Solomon meant to convey by the words, ‘What profit has a man of all his labor which he does under the sun?’ (Ecclesiaste 1:2) is that whatever a man may possess on earth, under the sun, he must inevitably part with, but it is different if he provides for himself above the sun, in Heaven. (Talmud, Midrash Ecclesiastes 1)
GOSPEL: A man came up to Jesus and asked, “Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?’…Jesus answered, ‘If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in Heaven. Then come, follow me.’ (Matthew 19:16-21)

TALMUD: As the sea throws up its debris upon the shores, so the wicked have filthiness upon their mouths. (Talmud, Midrash Psalms 2)
GOSPELS: Jesus asked them. ‘Don’t you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man unclean. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.’ (Matthew 15:16-19)

TALMUD: When no justice is done here below, it will be accomplished from above. (Talmud, Deuteronomy Rabba 5)
GOSPEL: But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first. (Matthew 19:30)

TALMUD: Swear not at all, not even to the truth. (Talmud, Tanchum, Vayikra)
GOSPEL: I tell you, Do not swear at all: either by heaven, for it is God’s throne; or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. (Matthew 5:34-36)

TALMUD: To do justice and righteousness is more acceptable to God than sacrifices (Proverbs 21:3)…Sacrifices atoned only for sins committed in error not for presumptuous sin, justice and righteousness atone for all sins. (Talmud, Deuteronmy Rabba 5)
GOSPEL If only you had known what this means, ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice,’ you would not have condemned the guiltless. (Matthew 12:7)

TALMUD: Let no man boast of his exalted position. Even so great a man as Samuel received a rebuke for his lack of modesty. (Talmud, Midrash Samuel 12)
GOSPEL: Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. (Matthew 18:4)

TALMUD: God will wipe away tears from off all faces (Isaiah 25:8). This means from the faces of non-Jews as well as Jews. (Talmud, Genesis Rabba 26)
GOSPEL: Behold, my servant whom I have chosen…I will put my Spirit upon him, and he shall declare judgment to the Gentiles….And in his name shall the Gentiles hope. (Matthew 12:18-21)

TALMUD: The leper, the blind, the abject poor, and those who have no children are as though they are dead. (Talmud, Tanchum,Tsav)
GOSPEL: Another of the disciples said to Him, ‘Lord, permit me first to go and bury my father.’ But Jesus said to him, ‘Follow Me, and allow the dead to bury their own dead.’ (Matthew 8:21-22)

TALMUD: When no justice is done here below, it will be accomplished from above. (Talmud, Deuteronomy Rabba 5)
GOSPEL: Many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first. (Matthew 19:30)

TALMUD: He who hears himself abused (or cursed) and does not retaliate may be called a saintly man. (Talmud, Midrash Psalms 16)
GOSPEL: I tell you do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. (Matthew 5:38)

TALMUD: The proverb says, ‘If you give out your money in usury you will lose what you gain as well as your original capital.’ (Talmud, Leviticus Rabba 3)
GOSPEL: For whoever has, to him shall be given and he shall have abundance: but whoever has not, from him shall be taken away even that which he has. (Matthew 13:12)

TALMUD: The righteous are put to more and severer trials than the unrighteous. (Talmud, Tanchum,Vaayro)
GOSPEL: Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. (Matthew 5:10)

TALMUD: When the prophets went forth on their mission the Holy Spirit rested upon them, awed and surprised their audience, and inspired them with respect for the prophets. (Talmud, Numbers Rabba 10)
GOSPEL: Jesus summoned His twelve disciples and gave them authority over unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal every kind of disease and every kind of sickness…These twelve Jesus sent out after instructing them: ‘Do not go in the way of the Gentiles…but rather go to the lost sheep of the house of Israel…Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out demons. Freely you received, freely give.’ (Matthew 10:1-8)

These passages are proof positive that the Christian Gospels were definitively Jewish in origin, reflecting mainstream Jewish thought and sentiment as seen during the lifetime of Joshua (Jesus Christ) that has continued, parallel with Christianity for thousands of years since that time

May the LORD God bless you in the name of St. Judas Maccabaeus.

Jason Nicholas Korning

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